Great for anyone who knows a single woman | Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn't Expect...

Interesting | Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn't Expect | Connally Gilliam

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	• Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn't Expect Connally Gilliam SaltRiver, 2005 - 232 pages average customer review:based on 20 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Revelations of a Single Woman

I have mixed feelings about this book. On the positive side, it was well-written and the author, Connally Gilliam, articulated perfectly ideas that I have always felt about being single. For instance, she talks about the "fragmentation of society" that affects single people, i.e., that the lives of single people are hardly like the decade-long television show "Friends. In real life, friends marry or move away, and a single person constantly finds herself trying to make new friends among this fragmentation. Gilliam also describes how tough it can be to find a guy, which I appreciate because I've so been there, and how difficult it can be to find a career and love it. She is a committed Evangelical Christian, somewhat an anomaly in our "spiritual but not religious" world. I have respect for that. I admire her prayer life, how she can take her problems to God and beautifully articulate her needs. That said, nonreligious people may hate this book, because there is a lot of God talk. On the negative side, Gilliam's life and values in many ways are completely different than mine because her No. 1 life goal apparently is to get married. She also seems to be clueless about handling herself around men at work. Several times I said out loud, "Huh?" when she complained about how difficult it is to not to flirt or fall for coworkers. To me, the answer is simple: Just don't. Turn off the sexuality switch, if you have to, and focus on the task at hand. But unlike Gilliam, I don't see every man as a potential husband, apparently. Gilliam also has some weird ideas about Catholicism, specifically when she describes nuns as "lonely." I don't think she's anti-Catholic, just misinformed, but some readers could be offended. Most controversial are her ideas about gay people. She thinks that people choose same sex partners because of situations in their lives, such as troubled relationships with their fathers. It never occurs to her that perhaps gay people were born that way, that their orientation may be God's will as much as it is God's will for her to have been born with brown hair.

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Great for anyone who knows a single woman

Just recently married at 35, I could relate very well to this book, and I wish it was out there for me 5 years ago. Most of all I wish I could have handed it to my mother to read when she was not understanding my struggle with singleness and feeling left out in a couples world. I HIGHLY recommend it for anyone struggling with their own singleness or someone close to a single person who just does not "get it".

Interesting

Single women should read this book. It was very easy to read and hard to put down. I felt like at times it was my life being told in this novel. Very funny at times.

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Inspired, insightful, intelligent

I've heard it said: What we call the process, God calls the end. Our spiritual journey is the state of becoming -- an intended contradiction of terms. Take a peek at one person's journey through the mystery, the suffering, and the evolution of contentment, where singleness is the context. You won't find discrete answers, but you will find valuable markers, like those blue patches painted on trees along hiking trails, that say, "Another person has been here before, and this is the direction you should go." You must still do the hard work of walking the path, but after reading Connally's book, you will not feel quite so alone, and certainly not lost.

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Didn't want to read this book, but......

Every now and then I finish reading a book with the feeling that I need to discuss it with someone and this is one of those books. In fact, I did discuss it with a single male friend of mine because many of the topics that Connolly Gilliam talks about are of relevance not only to single women, but to single men, as well.

Because I also am "single wishing I was partnered" I was reluctant to read this book, thinking that it might be akin to rubbing salt on a wound-it is bad enough to experience feelings of loneliness and so on without adding insult to injury by READING about it - why remind yourself?? But I am very glad that I did, because instead of feeling worse, I felt better. Some of the feelings and thoughts that I experience as a result of my singleness are described by Connolly so thoughtfully, honestly and compassionately that I really did have the feeling of not "being alone" in my aloneness. She very bravely talks about the "suffering" that single people wanting to be partnered have and her story wherein she receives wise counsel inspiring her to suffer her singleness nobly was inspiring to me as well. "This singleness being the case, how, therefore shall I proceed?"

Although I am a more quiet Christian than Connolly and actually am more likely to pray or meditate Buddhist fashion than to go to Church, I was not, like I expected, put off by the comfort and groundedness she feels and eloquently describes with her relationship to God. I myself have been experiencing this in more and more profound ways and sometimes wonder if my deepening faith and reliance on God has made it possible for me to avoid romantic entanglements that might not be good for me. It is as if I truly am waiting for Mr. Right, but I have not put all my marbles in his basket. This does leave you dateless and alone often. But the payback is a deep sense of inner peace, the maintenance of integrity and the well-being that goes with honoring your own self. But.........there is a loss, a deep, grief-inducing loss, knowing that the place in you that would be filled by a partner is empty. Having been married for 10 years and then single for 10 more, having experienced the death of very close friends, I can tell you that the loss one feels at being partner-less is experienced no less intensely than the loss felt at the death of a close loved one. Connolly Gilliam addresses unwanted singleness at this depth. She explores the places that many singles fear to tread. It IS tough keeping up a brave face when you are the odd woman out, when you are "always a bridesmade, never a bride". Ms. Gilliam seems like an absolutely beautiful woman, inside and out and I hope that our God is arranging for her "Mr. Right". I know after reading this book, you will,too.

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Turning our culture's Sex in the City worldview completely upside down, Revelations of a Single Woman celebrates God's enticing, life-giving promises, even when life takes you down a path you didn't plan for. Connally Gilliam explores what it means to live in a world for which her mother never could have prepared her. Through this collection of thoughtful, honest, and humorous memoirs, the author delves into what it really means to be "the remainder" in a world that caters to couples, and what it means to be the one who lives out moral values that her peers think died in the sixties. As readers walk with Connally through each humorous and poignant experience, they will discover that God doesn't promise happiness somewhere in the future, but abundant life in the here and now.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4

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