Excellent book on Narcissism | Help, I'm in Love with a Narcissist

The Best Book Ever! | Help, I'm in Love with a Narcissist | Steven Carter

books:


	• Help, I'm in Love with a Narcissist Steven Carter M. Evans and Company, Inc., 2005 - 288 pages average customer review:based on 17 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Excellent. One of the best on this subject.

The authors actually do not have degrees in psychotherapy yet they know exactly what narcissists are and what they are about.

This book is one of the very best in this subject and the authors give great descriptions, stories, sympathy, and advice for people who are connected with narcissists.

You should read this.

Excellent book on Narcissism

This book really helped me understand my narcissist ex-husband better than any book or online information so far. It's so very good at explaining what a Narcissist is, why some of us are targets for them and get sucked up into their vortex of nonsense and how to protect yourself so you don't do it again.

Wish I'd read this book 20 years ago - it would have save me a considerable amount of emotional pain and sorrow.

I especially liked how the book was not sexist (Narcissist can be either sex) and also pointed out how the Narcissist targets your own Narcissistic tendencies. That was an eye opener!

I recommend this book highly.

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The Best Book Ever!

This book has been so helpful to me. If you have ever been in a romatic relationship with a narcissist---you need to read this book. It is incredibly well-researched and well-written. It helps you understand the disorder, why you are attracted to the disorder, what you can do from here, etc. It allows you to feel better about yourself and your life. I commend the authors in their writing and level of depth. I felt like you were spot on in some many ways. Thank you for writing this book. It has made a big difference in my life. Thank you.

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Only the names were changed to protect the innocent

As I sat in Barnes & Noble reading this book, my jaw dropped as I read detail after detail that described my relationship to the letter. After a short initial "getting to know you" phase, it was all about him. He would get up and leave early on Sunday morning because he had so much to do. He would always stay at my house -- we rarely stayed at his place. (For one thing, if we were at my place the other woman who took so much of his time wouldn't call since she would only call his home number.) He wouldn't invite me out to happy hour with his friends. He'd finally invite me to events, but then at the last minute would have something come up and disinvite me. I was the "perfect woman" and then I was nothing. If I backed away, he'd give me attention again for a while. He would say mean things about nice people. He and his business were far superior to anyone else out there doing the same thing, and it was all because of him (according to him). When we met he was so charming and wonderful and I was the answer to all his problems. The list goes on. Now I am going to buy the book and highlight all the things that validate my feelings so I remember that it didn't end because of some flaw of my own, and so I can get over him once and for all.

If you have been in this type of relationship, this book could be very helpful to you to help you see that it WASN'T YOU and there was (or is) nothing you could do to change things.

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Narcissist Screening Tool

Time flies when it's all about you

I recently went on a hike with two of my closest and smartest guy friends (an investment banker and a lawyer). When we returned to the car I remarked, "Did the way back to the car seem much shorter than when we hiked out on the trail?"

My first friend said, "I didn't notice much of a difference."

My second friend said, "That's because you did most of the talking."

I was embarrassed and quipped back, "That must explain why the first half seemed to take so long."

I am more neurotic than I am narcissistic, which means I feel hurt much more often than I feel angry. It explained to me why I may get along with so many people, because I am generally more of a listener than a talker.

It also made me aware of how quickly narcissists can become angry and even enraged when they're not catered to. Narcissists are often very attractive, because they seem so strong and when they're romancing you, they can make you feel: "This person (most often men, but increasingly now also women) will take care of me and protect me from harm." The problem is that early on when you are the object of desire you can feel that way, but after they have you, too often you learn that their strength is mainly stubbornness and their desire is more often liking you for the way you make them feel about themselves. It turns out not to be about liking you.

As a result, it is a wise thing to smoke out narcissists, before you become involved with one. Here is how to do it:

1. Get them talking to the point where they are going on and on and seem to be enjoying themselves.
2. After they finish say to them: "Gee, I can really appreciate how much you enjoy talking about ________ (fill in the blank about the main subject they were speaking about).
3. Wait for them to nod or say, "Yes."
4. Then say with a coy smile: "You would have enjoyed it even more, if I was listening."

That may seem cruel, but in reality it is teasing someone who may be a little too full of themselves. The neurotic will get embarrassed (as I did above); the narcissist will show a flash of anger.

If you are dealing with a narcissist, run. Think you can change one, think again and read Steven Carter's and Julia Sokol's wonderful book: "Help! I'm in love with a Narcissist."

-Mark Goulston, M.D.
author: The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship
http:/markgoulston.com

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Written with the compassionate language that people have come to rely upon and expect from these proven relationship experts, this book goes beyond an explanation of the condition to help men and women avoid the self-destructive permanence of remaining with people incapable of loving anyone but themselves.

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