speaking from my success | Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love |...

male vs female | Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love | Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, ...

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	• Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, ... HarperOne, 1992 - 240 pages average customer review:based on 54 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Sound Advice

This book helped me admit to myself that I need to work harder at loving me. I am glad to have read this book

speaking from my success

i was one of those people who was addicted, but did't know it...then came this book.It was both a blessing and a curse.A curse because i realized i had a problem bigger than myself and comming to terms with an addiction is not easy(which is why admitting to your problem is the first step). A blessing because it let me know that there was help.It identifyed my every symptom, my every emotion and my every devestation.
Most of the book describes what love addiction is,how it is developed, and the various ways in which it ruins your life with out you even reliazing it.The author gives lots of examples,many including her owm experiences.I give the book 4 stars for beeing such an important eye opener and teaching me so much about this emotional illness.The reason i don't give it 5 stars is because the "work-book" in the end is not enough to help you break the addiction on it's own.If you are really interested in moving past your addiction i would recomend adding to your collection her book + workbook "facing codependence".even in this book she will tell you that at the heart of the addiction is codependence, which you need to overcome.
Love addiction is most of all Painfull and isolating.Your relationships go so wrong so fast that it really takes a toll on your heart...to be honest there were times when i thought that i must have been born wrong,that there was something so inately wrong with me that i was destined to only find heart break.I had decided to not even try anymore because there was no point when they all ended the same:with my heart crushed.
In order to encourage others to get help i will admit that in the past my longest relationship lasted 5 months(most averaging about 3) and only the first month was good because after that a very intense hell would break loose.I felt out of control.But after Pia's help and with my persistence to get better i have now been in a HEALTHY,LOVING, relationship with someone for more than a year :0)and emotionally i am more stable than i have ever been in my 26 years of life.

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male vs female

It's been a while since I read the book, so this may be a little inaccurate but here's what I remember: The book was great an inspirational, BUT... There are many types of love addicts, according to the LAA (love addicts anonymous) website. The "avoidant addicts" are also love addicts, according to them. I found it unfortunate that the author focused mainly on the "female" love addict (who are not usuallly the avoiders in her opinion), while not really saying much about the "avoidant" addict. In fact, most books on the topic of love addictioin avoid the helping the avoidant addict (such as the book "Lovesick" by Macavoy. I happen to be a female who classifies herself as an "avoidant" type. There aren't really any "love addiction" books out there for this type. interestingly, the LAA website says that few avoidant addicts seek treatment and therefore few experts believe that they are really addicts. well here I am, and unable to find any good literature on the topic. I also have found a book about addictions that focuses on men. in this book "hungry hearts" the author assumes that men are more likely than women to have addictions, that these men who become addicted to substances or work or whatever usually are "avoidant" of intimacy and have women in their lives that are desperate for love from them. This book, although, talks about addictive men (not as love addicts though) neglects women who are addicts and exhibit the same type of personality. If "hungry hearts" were not aimed only at men, and "facingn love addiction" not at women, these books would be complete. hope this helps

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An Addict all the same

Let's get serious. Love Addiction, Avoidance Addiction, Alcohol Addiction, Drug Addiction, Gambling Addiction, Food Addiction. Don't fool yourself, it's all the same. It's a painful compulsive behavior. It's a sickness and you'll need help. Pia Mellody does a great job of explaining the "disease" and laying out steps to overcome it. Take her advice. Do the work. I am a happier healthy person because I used her advice as one of my tools for healing.

Good introduction to understanding potential issues in relationships

Although it sometimes feels like the book tries to set things into black and white, I'm sure many of us can see elements of what is discussed in present and past relationships. It was helpful to see an objective discussion of the dynamics experienced between love addicts and love avoiders. The one major disagreement I had with the book regarded the notion that it is healthy to have moments of being out of love - I may have missed the point, but it seems that the connection should always be there, no matter what the circumstances.

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A brilliant new guide to understanding the origins of codependence and the path to recovery by a nationally recognized authority on dependency and addiction.

In this fresh new look at codependence, Pia Mellody traces the origins of this illness back to childhood, describing a whole range of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and sexual abuses. Because of these earlier experiences, codependent adults often lack the skills necessary to lead mature lives and have satisfying relationships.

Recovery from codependence comes from clearing up the toxic feelings left over from childhood and learning to reparent oneself by intervening on the adult symptoms of codependence. Central to Mellody's concept is the idea of the "precious child" that needs healing within each adult. She creates a framework for identifying codependent behavior and describes an effective approach to recovery that includes both therapy and self-help processes. Designed to be used with her new workbook for codependents, Breaking Free, this is a powerful tool for understanding the nature of codependence.

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