Great Book! | The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever

Wonderful Book for Men | The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever | Scott Haltzman, Theresa Foy DiGeronimo

books:


	• The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever Scott Haltzman, Theresa Foy DiGeronimo Jossey-Bass, 2005 - 288 pages average customer review:based on 32 reviews view larger image
	for more information click here

highly recommended

Fantastic book but very depressing

Well, this is a fantastic book for every man who is married and want his marriage to work whatever the price to be paid (and, since divorce is a financial and emotional ruin for men, this is not a silly attitude). If you are this kind of man, please buy this book. It is full of practical advice. Dr. Haltzman is a no-nonsense man and knows what he is talking about. So I think the book deserves 5 stars.

But being single I bought the book to know more about marriage (because I wanted to be married eventually) and I found it very informative but very depressing. After having finished the book I am fully convinced that marriage is a crappy deal for men and that I am not letting myself caught by this trap. Of course, this is not a problem of the book: Dr. Haltzman says things how they are and I ended up having stiff neck because I was nodding constantly to every thing he said. Even some past behaviours of my past girlfriends which had been so difficult to understand so far, now are very clear under the light of what I have learnt from the book.

Anyway, the message of Dr. Haltzman to make marriage succeed is, in four words, being your wife's servant. Simple but depressing. Some of his advice is :

1. Say "yes" or "no problem" to most things your wife ask you to do. (This way, the complaining and arguments disappear).

2. Fulfill all her needs before expecting your needs to be fulfilled. Expecting your wife to meet you half-way is delusional (when you think you are halfway, she thinks you are one-tenth of the way and her opinion is the important one). As Dr. Haltzman says, only when she recognizes the man is totally committed to her happiness, then (and only then) can the man begin to get his own needs meet.

3. Hide your feelings of vulnerability (these are some of the secrets which the title refers to), although women say "they love men who are in touch with their feelings" (but this is not true). However, listen very carefully when your wife expresses her feelings. (This is the most depressing advice. I wonder why I should marry, if I can't share my feelings of sadness with the person who I love most in the world, if I end up feeling alone in a relationship).

4. Make marriage your job. Problems in your relationship are to be approached with the same mentality as problems in your job. Keeping your marriage alive requires attention every day. (So there is no time to relax even after a hard day. You end up working twice).

5. Something along the lines that you may have thought the wedding ring was enough evidence of your commitment. But for her, the vows are only a start, she wants you to prove your love for her every day. To do this, you must give up your bachelor identity.

Reading this review it would seem that I am attacking Dr. Haltzman. I am not. He is so right. When reviewing my past relationships with this information, everything makes sense. This is the way to make a marriage work, no doubt. What is wrong is marriage. The depressing truth is that marriage is not worthwile for men. You trade your independence, your possibility of having several partners, your freedom, your peace of mind, your financial assets for..what? For working every day to please your wife, that's for. It is everything about HER. Your needs are only the last thing to be considered.

And if she divorces you - as Dr. Haltzman says, some 70% of divorces are initiated by the woman - it is even worse. She takes your children, your assets, your house and you end up paying her alimony and child support. So, bottom line, why marry?

So, in summary, if you are married and want to avoid divorce, please buy this book. If you are single and want to know what is marriage beyond all these coloured glasses the media (ckick-lit, romantic movies, etc) put on it, please buy this book (but don't be surprised if you end up depressed and sad, like I am now). This is a necessary book for men. 5 stars, and if there were 10 stars, I would rate it with them.

for more information click here

Great Book!

Its a great book for him to read and if he does it works wonders for us!

Wonderful Book for Men

I think this is a great book that has some practical principles in it for all men to learn from and apply them to their everyday lives.

for more information click here

A recipe for marital satisfaction

At the conclusion of the introduction to his book, The Secrets of Happily Married Men, Dr.Scott Hazelton writes that it is not his aim to merely assist in making marriages okay, he wants to help make them great! At the outset of the book, he creates a "job description" for husbands. He calls it; The First Way: Make Your Marriage Your Job
The following seven chapters enourage the reader to work toward that goal. From the Secrets of MarriedMen.com, Dr. Scott shares the following observation by a man named Frank, age 48, married for 25 years;

You both must give 100 percent of yourself in your marriage if you
want it to work. Love her the same as you did when you dated and
make her feel like the most important thing on earth. You had
better find the time or you will find yourself divorced. If you
can't find the time to do this, why did you ever get married?

Hazelman reiterates a conclusion that was made by Gottman which says after tempers flare and hurtful things are said, the future of a relationship depends on how the couple makes up-or at least engages in some sort of damage control.

He goes on to say that a husband's greatest challenge is to foster, within his wife's heart, a real and lasting faith that she can trust him.

for more information click here

Marriage and relationships are in crisis. The breakup and divorce rate remain incredibly high, despite all the couples therapy, afternoon talk shows, and other books in the marketplace, many of which describe men as abusive commitment phobic creeps who'd better change fast or else. But this new book is totally different, a whole different way of looking at how to build a successful long-lasting relationship from a man's point of view, men who are happy in their partnerships, who have figured out what works for them in accomplishing the goal of a loving, intimate, lifetime commitment. Dr. Scott Haltzman, Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University, and founder of www.secretsofmarriedmen.com, has devised a proven method for improving relationships, based on a man's special and unique skills, strengths, powers?as a responsible and motivated worker, manager, leader, problem-solver, partner, husband, and father. Men are different, Dr. Haltzman says. They don't approach relationships with the same skills and techniques that women do?and viva la difference. Dr.Haltzman therefore lays out eight ways, tasks, proven techniques which men have revealed in confidential correspondence to his highly successful website, including The First Way: Make Your Marriage Your Job, The Second Way: Know Your Wife, The Third Way: Be Home Now, The Fourth Way: Expect Conflict and Deal With It, The Fifth Way: Learn to Listen, The Sixth Way: Aim to Please, The Seventh Way: Understand the Truth About Sex, The Eighth Way: Introduce Yourself, and finally, Celebrate Your Love. Within each of these steps, he provides both specific analysis, guidelines and techniques based on male biology, neuro-science, brain differences, unique developmental stages from youth to seniority. To illustrate these ideas in action, he's included wonderful true stories, anecdotes, and confessions from the website. The result is a practical, very entertaining, totally original way to build successful relationships for men and their partners, girlfriends, and wives. For a lasting commitment, a continuing guide to solving inevitable problems and bumps in the road, for more fun, better sex, genuine intimacy, and a life-long partnership?this dynamic new author shows the way in a manner that finally includes an authentic male perspective.

for more information click here

reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

hot