I couldn't put it down | The Tricky Part: A boy's story of sexual trespass, a man's journey to forgiveness...

Frank and enightening memoir | The Tricky Part: A boy's story of sexual trespass, a man's journey to forgiveness | Martin Moran

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	• The Tricky Part: A boy's story of sexual trespass, a man's journey to forgiveness Martin Moran Anchor, 2006 - 304 pages average customer review:based on 25 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

"Under [it] my genius is rebuked"---Macbeth - Act 3, Scene 1

The above quote from Shakespeare expresses a kind of numinous awe; a feeling of inadequacy at having to express the character of this book. I was moved to order it by the unstinting praise given by previous reviewers here. Mr. Moran has managed to transcend the terrible pain he endured through the medium of his art; to me it seems miraculous.

The confusion and suffering that took Mr. Moran the better part of thirty years to work out was not least because he was--and is--gay. This overlays the story with yet another dimension of complexity. The author notes the sexual and emotional longings on his part that were not only picked up on by his abuser, but that kept him returning to this man for three years despite his guilt and confusion. That guilt and confusion would continue to hobble Mr. Moran's sense of intimacy for many years to come.

In my own circle, I know two gay men who suffered abuse when they were scarcely more than boys--one of them from a member of his extended family. The abuse did not make either of them gay; rather, it seems that in each case (as with Mr. Moran) the abusers sensed both the sexual orientation and the vulnerability of their targets.

Despite immense changes in society over the past twenty years, too many boys sense a secret within themselves that they cannot tell anyone--frequently not even themselves. The derision and stigmatization of gays by ignorant religion and ignorant people alike do nothing to prevent anyone from becoming gay--only serving to set up gay kids to be taken advantage of by their abusers. Those who have been abused will find this book a fount of insight, courage and (hopefully) healing. Anyone imagining that using a vulnerable young person sexually does them no harm will have much to consider after reading the book. All readers will discover the wisdom and pathos of a man who could have ended up as an abuser or a misanthrope, but through (dare one say?) some mysterious grace did not. This book deserves every bit of the praise that reviewers here gave it.

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I couldn't put it down

As many here have stated this book was captivating. I work with sexual abuse survivors and found many of them in this book. Mr. Moran really knows how to put his finger on the pulse of the issue as he did here throughout the book many different times. I also like how the perpetrator, Bob, is not portrayed as all evil because as we know so many perpetrators are charming, smart and suave. Hence, their success. I also thought it realistic that it was pointed out that Bob provided something for Mr. Moran. I have clients who are "messed up" because of their experiences but they are able to discern the positive they were reaching for, or as in the case here, what kept him going back. This is at a price, of course, but generally kids don't realize then the depths they have already been to, and the effects it will have on them as adults.

I just finished the book a few moments ago. I realize I'm feeling kind of sad. This book is very good, and it's real, but it's not a light summer read. So, I chose to read it over Christmas. Go figure!

PS - Another book I read in a similar vein was The Abomination. I have a review on Amazon about it. It also involves a similar situation but shows more about what the "relationship" is doing for the kid in the beginning. Then later it all changes. My book club of 2 straight women, 2 lesbians, and 2 gay guys gave it a unanimous thumbs up.

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Frank and enightening memoir

Frank and moving account of the abuse the writer suffered as a child, and how he was subsequently affected and managed to cope. When he was twelve years old Martin Moran was seduced and abused at the hands of a camp counsellor named Bob, and so entered a relationship that lasted not unwillingly for three years. But the effects were lasting; such that Martin eventually took steps to confront the issues head on.
Martin's memoir is Insightful and enlightening, not always easy to come to terms with, for while what he suffered as a child was clearly an abuse, he was not an unwilling participant, and it maybe opened the way for Martin to accept more readily his life as a gay man. His account tells in detail of his early days, of the seduction and the continue relationship and its effects; of how he came to terms with the abuse, and of a successful career that eventually took him to Broadway.
Martin Moran's open well written account, at times funny, at others moving, is well worth reading

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A Blast of Grace

How does he do it, show the light in darkness? A story of a boy as he says falling from trespass into grace. A boy exploited, given too soon to the knowledge of the body--betrayed, as he felt, by his own body. And this man, the one who showed him his strength and wonder, then used his beauty like a Kleenex for his disposable desires.

Grace, then. No, first, despair, the attempts at suicide, the empty hours in the echoing school hallways full of crosses, holiness, and distance. Even in those places, an occasional light and this is what he shows gorgeously--the old nun telling him, at the kitchen table, that everything he does is already blessed. No disclosure, no healing stories, but this Light poured upon him.

More despair, more thoughts of killing himself. Then the tryouts for the school musical. A voice is found, a wonder arises in his soul--what is this miracle? I am seen and loved. The lights pick me out, the people laugh and clap. Maybe I should put off my suicide until after the fall production. The voice teacher witnesses his singing in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, she urges him to take lessons. She has to repeat her urging at the next musical in the next season before he takes it seriously, then goes trembling to her house.

Voice lessons, lessons in projection of spirit. She says, this is you in the universe, this is your soul coming out of your mouth. You have a gift to give to the world, Marty. You have a beauty of soul.

How does he do it, this Martin Moran? The light and love pouring through a living room with grand piano in Colorado are made manifest in the lines she says, the wonder he feels. Not uncomplicating anything, he holds the lust, the love, the exploitation, the forgiveness, the unfolding all in his hands.

Writing! Is there any more powerful act in the world? Well, there is acting. The first I knew of Martin Moran was his one-man show of The Tricky Part--painfully, beautifully open.

Thank you Martin Moran. Thank you for living into a full life as an actor, singer and writer. Thank you for showing us how you made it by the grace of what we might call God except that invokes the catholic Big Guy in the beard, the one whose church and sense of sin helped to make this story into a near-tragedy. But can we wish it had happened otherwise? No, that's the Tricky Part of the title of the book. We can't exactly wish it had happened differently.

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what a beautiful book

What a gorgeous and searingly honest book. I love how he does not make himself out to be guiltless in all of this, or a victim--- even though clearly, he could have. It's such a rich book, not only about abuse but about childhood, Catholicism, sex, guilt, desire, love, attachment, forgiveness, family. It's so full of life. I saw the play in NYC and that was amazing, too.

Raised in a loving Catholic family in Denver, Martin Moran was a star student who imagined that he?d one day become a U.S. senator. When he was twelve years old, a camp counselor seduced him, initiating a sexual relationship that would last three years?and haunt Moran?s life for decades. He discovered a passion for acting and built a career that would take him to Broadway, but only when Moran finally tracked down and confronted his abuser thirty years later could he finally forgive himself for someone?s else trespass.

Funny and tender about growing up Catholic and gay, The Tricky Part never oversimplifies either the abuse or the vexing work of recovering from it. This powerful story carries us to the heart of a paradox: that what we think of as damage may be the very thing that gives rise to transformation, even grace.

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reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

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