You are not alone | Understanding Men's Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men's Lives

Understanding Men's Passages | Understanding Men's Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men's Lives | Gail Sheehy

books:


	• Understanding Men's Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men's Lives Gail Sheehy Ballantine Books, 1999 - 336 pages average customer review:based on 21 reviews view larger image
	for more information click here

highly recommended

As a man grows older

This is an effort to help the silent sex, the Male of the Species understand the pains and problems ( and also the opportunities) of aging. For Sheehy the first forty years are the years of the competitive male, seeking to conquer in the world. The next years , she says, should be the time for the Men to become a more gentle, more multi- goaled kind of being. The forty plus Male should be thinking and working for a better relationship with spouse, for greater consideration of children, for more harmonious relation to others.
Here she points out how the silent species does not often talk about the 'male menopause' the loss of sexual, physical power. the loss of control , which comes with aging. Her effort is to help Men better understand how to make happier and better lives for themselves and for others.
This kind of thinking can, I am sure, be of help to many. But I do not think it will stop those driven, intense , ambitious, long-distance runners who work and work and work because that is where their heart and hope is.

for more information click here

You are not alone

The first thing I asked myself while reading this book was, "How well can a woman really understand men's passage?" After all, how many women will read a book about menopause written by a man, doctor or not, and not stop and think, "Yeah, right. You can tell me about it when you feel the hot-flash furnace kick in."

However, perhaps a woman might be able to look at the situation more objectively. Certainly Ms. Sheehy has done a fair amount of research and talked to plenty of men about their "middle age." I have seen a few negative reviews of the book based on the fact that it appears to lean towards the "touchy-feely, new age" end of the cultural spectrum. While I will admit that the author does seem to lean more left than right, I haven't found her to be objectionably so. Besides, no one should take any author's words as gospel. Take what is good and leave the rest.

It's a bit strange to hear one's own words coming out of the mouths of the men in the book. Sometimes you think that you are the only one in the world who is feeling this way, and that you are on a solo journey. While it is true that we all must seek our own path, it appears that we have plenty of company along the road. To know that you are not the only one going through a time like this provides a sense of community and a hope that you will come out on the other end as well as some of the men in the book have.

I can see where people reading this book might think that it is typical "west coast think," but I have to say that I can agree with most of what is in the book. Besides that, the author relies on studies and interviews from all over the country, not just the west coast. I think that she may be a touch too feminist in dealing with a male issue, but what the heck, she is a woman, and while I'm sure she was trying to be objective, it would be hard for her not to see issues through a woman's eyes. Still, don't let this put you off if you are a man living through these "passages" - there is value here.

For those who want checklists of things-to-do to manage these passages, you are out of luck. She does provide plenty of examples of men who have made it through, or who are working on it, which at least presents methods used by others that you may adopt or not, depending on what is useful to you.

If you are lost in middle-age, or beyond, I would recommend this book for its therapeutic effects. It may not cure you, but it might ease the suffering a bit. In truth, I think that the only thing that will resolve the issue is time, but you need to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel in order to commit to the necessary time. This book provides that little glimmer of light.

for more information click here

Understanding Men's Passages

It's an easy-to-read book for the amateur trying to figure out where the man in my life is going. Since he's still in my house, it's good to have a map.

for more information click here

Lost in your Fifties without GPS

Coming from a very active life, I've settled into my 50s and wonder why the rules have changed. Men's Passages will give you a preview as well as reassurance to what you are experiencing and what lies ahead. Why your son or daughter has no interest in being home and what you're going to do with your wife now that the kids don't want her anymore. You will find this book entertaining as well as enlightning, and you will have a difficult time putting it down. It is a great guide to mid- life.

for more information click here

New Book, Interesting material

I gave this book as a gift. I heard about it in my Psyc class. and with rave reviews the teacher recommended it as the contemporary version of Maslow's Heirarchy principals.

Her stunning bestsellers Passages and New Passages brilliantly mapped the changes we live through from youth to maturity. Now Gail Sheehy guides contemporary men through the turbulent challenges and surprising pleasures that begin at forty. As a man crosses that threshold, he is bound to ask midlife's most troubling question: Now what? Work anxieties, concerns over sexual potency, marital and family stress, issues of power, all take on new urgency as men contemplate the decades ahead. But as Gail Sheehy reveals in this major new book, midlife is precisely the period when men are most likely to reinvent themselves and become masters of their fate. In Understanding Men's Passages, Sheehy offers all men--and the women in their lives--an essential guide to self-discovery.

Hundreds of bold, imaginative men--celebrities as well as everyday heroes--share here their most intimate desires, deepest fears, and most fervent cravings for renewal. Decade by decade, Sheehy uncovers the real issues facing men today: finding new passion and purpose to invigorate the second half of their lives, dealing with "manopause," surviving job change, enjoying post-nesting zest, defeating depression, and learning what keeps a man young.

Informative and inspiring, grounded in fact and full of fascinating life stories, Understanding Men's Passages is a landmark that will take its place beside Gail Sheehy's epoch-making Passages and New Passages.

for more information click here

reviews: page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

hot