Repugnant, hilarious, vile, extreme, obscene, and horribly fun! | Ocean of Lard (Choose Your Own Mindfuck...

don't expect to make it back to shore with your mind in one piece | Ocean of Lard (Choose Your Own Mindfuck Fest #17) | Carlton Mellick III, Kevin, L. Donihe

books:


	• Ocean of Lard (Choose Your Own Mindfuck Fest #17) Carlton Mellick III, Kevin, L. Donihe Eraserhead Press, 2005 - 176 pages average customer review:based on 12 reviews view larger image
	for more information click here

highly recommended

Crap I died!

I've never read a choose your own adventure book before. This book is written in second person, so you are the star of the show and get to make decisions at pivotal points about what happens. Each decision jumps you to a different page where the story continues based on your choice, because of this, you jump around a lot and would never want to read this book in order from cover to cover.

Your character starts out by seeking some out of the way deserted town while on the run from the cops (because you evidently molested some children somewhere) and discover Pirate Town. Your first choice is whether to board a pirate ship named "The Eye World", board another ship called "The Rotten Sore" or stay in Pirate Town. The first three choices I made caused me to die in really bizarre ways. But each time I died, I went back and tried again. My favorite ship was "The Eye World".

If you have a twisted sense of humor and want to try something different I would recommend this book. These two authors blended together really well and the story is one of the wackiest I have read all year. I think this book is the perfect sort of thing to take on a road trip and read aloud to your friend who is driving and have them make the choices. It's really funny and interactive.

for more information click here

Repugnant, hilarious, vile, extreme, obscene, and horribly fun!

'Ocean Of Lard' is a rude parody of those old "build your own story" books. You're a child molester on the run from the cops, when you make your way to a strange place alongside an ocean filled with lard. As one of three original choices (board The Eye World ship, board The Rotten Sore ship, or stay in Pirate Town) branches off, you will find more and more choices along the way. (if you want to do This, turn to page XX, if you want to do That, turn to page XX) Personally, I enjoyed The Eye World the most.

Nothing is sacred to Mellick and Donihe, greasy lard, cyborgs, obscenely shaped islands, an ocean of fetuses, razor-barbed mermaids, walrus buggery, lots of blood, pickle-monkeys, man-eating logs, robotic bees, tentacles, zombies, and that is just the start of all the wacky, weird things waiting for you in 'Ocean Of Lard'.

This book makes Edward Lee look tame. You have to have a sick sense of humor, but if you do, you will be laughing your hinder off, just like I was. 'Ocean Of Lard' is perfect! Great fun when you want a break from serious horror, or just want to get grossed out. Enjoy! (but at your own risk...just don't eat any heavy or greasy food beforehand!)

for more information click here

don't expect to make it back to shore with your mind in one piece

(Ash Lomen)

A Choose your own adventure book for adults. This one contains a runaway pederast, a Pirate hunting for feces, a sexy Frog-Girl (who puts out BTW), horrible endings, high adventure and of course... an ocean of Lard.

Set Sail... but don't expect to make it back to shore with your mind in one piece.

for more information click here

Excellent Parody and Great Story

"Ocean of Lard" is a parody of the Choose Your Own Adventure/Destiny books we read when we were young. Over the top writers Carlton Mellick and Kevin Donihe team up to provide various different trails you can take to various different endings.

A man on the run from the cops finds a secret ocean of lard and has to join up with pirates in order to get away. This book pulls out all of the stops... There are bugs and pickle/monkey things, zombies, cyborg dominatrix, and much more! "The Eye World" is Mellick's story. "The Rotten Sore" is Donihe's. Illustrated by Terrasa Ulm.

Mellick's style is in full force here, and he finds various new and original ideas to explore with every segment of the book. Donihe is also a very good writer. This is the first book by him I've read, but I will definitely keep an eye out for him in the future. If only this were the beginning of a continuing series...

for more information click here

You're on the run from the cops and need to disappear somehow. Luckily you happen across a secret ocean in the middle of Wyoming. An undiscovered world of pirates and zombies that, according to maps, couldn't possibly exist. But here it is, a vast white sea that is made of some kind of greasy blubber substance instead of water. To escape, you must join the crew of one of the two ships at the dock. The first is a strange black cube-shaped vessel called The Eye World and the other is a totally punk rock pirate ship called The Rotten Sore. Which will you take?

If you board The Eye World, turn to page 21. If you take The Rotten Sore, turn to page 22. But choose wisely! You could find yourself screwing demonic faeries and a cyborg dominatrix on top of a pile of treasure, or you could end up as lunch for a team of floating telepathic walrus heads.

Ocean of Lard is a parody of that classic interactive fiction series that you adored as a kid, now filled to the brim with enough f*cked up humor and surreal perversions to satisfy you as an adult.

for more information click here

reviews: page 1, 2, 3

hot